You know with all your heart and soul that not one of all the good promises the Lord You God gave you has failed. Every promise has been fulfilled, no one has failed. (Joshua 23:14)
Lord, It is easy to forget all that You have brought me through. Not because I am not grateful but because... after a fall, I am always quick to embrace life and goodness. Lately I have begun to look dauntingly at those deep dark moments when I questioned You about the decisions You allowed/made that impacted my life in such a dramatic hurtful way. I even began to question myself concerning the lack of decision making, the lucidness of what was going on in my mind on the day I received news of my husband's diagnosis of terminal lung cancer, followed by the untimely heart attack that actually took him before the cancer did. I questioned whether I should have stayed that last night at the hospital with him. Should I have requested an autopsy. Why didn't I question the floor nurses about what happened more intently. Why, Why, Why?
People, trials and subsequent death, losses, catastrophes of great magnitude often leave you exhausted and unsatisfied about your behavior in the midst of the storm! But when those thoughts start to fill up my heart, I remember that God has chosen me out of His divine will and purpose to speak life to hurting people even in the midst of a dark, cruel world of sin, failures, bad decisions, and unpredictability. He did not allow me to go through this trial for no reason. I know that I am suppose to help others to go through pain and suffer; and teach, support, love, comfort, and pray individuals through their life's storm. I don't want to look back or dwell on the troubles I have experienced. But I am realizing how important it is to look at these times occasionally because they strengthen my journey.
Today, I begin a new kind of trial. I have never been here before...not exactly. But all I need to do is recall the promises The Lord has planted in my spirit, and trust Him once again. The good news is -even if the trials are not getting easier, the trusting is!
Andre Crouch, the famous gospel writer and musician wrote, produced, and sang a song entitled: "Through It All." I love the entire song, but the third verse grabs my attention. The words say:
" I thank God for the mountains, and I thank Him for the valleys, I thank Him for the storms he brought me through. For if I'd never had a problem, I wouldn't know God could solve them, I'd never know what faith in God could do.
Though it all, through it all, I've learned to trust in Jesus, I've learned to trust in God. Through it all, through it all. I've learned to depend upon His Word.
Take if from someone how has been there, done that, and got the tee-shirt. TRUST TAKES TRIAL!I know some of us are saved, got the Holy Ghost, fire baptized, speak in several tongues, Lol etc. But the truth is, some of us turned a deaf ear to the voice of God. We did not answer His call. We did not obey His commandments. He told us to stop the madness, we didn't. When He told us to let him/her, this or that go, we didn't. It took a trial, a problem, some type of terrible thing to happen, in order to get our attention.
One might say, "Well God you didn't have to do all that to get me to obey You. But, Yes, He Did! I have even said it myself!!! I would not be who I am today, doing what I am doing today without His intervention, and without the regular stuff that happens to all of us; because, sometimes, "Stuff just happens!" God allows it to happen. He could stop trials if He wanted to, He is God! But he allows trials and suffering to come to strengthen us. Not merely for us, but to help others who may find themselves in the same or similar circumstances as us.
I thank God for the mountains and the valleys in my life now. When you are going through, it does not feel good! But we have to learn to trust the one who holds us in the palm of His hand. He promises to never let go our hand. He is faithful, even when we are not.
Have a good and godly day today, and : "Don"t forget to say your prayers."