Five things I want to see happen in my life. I wrote this three months after my daughter, Danielle passed:
I want to walk in my true calling.
I want to be financially free.
I want to retire.
I want to travel and evangelize.
I what to be closer to my husband and family.
I want to be a blessing to my family.
I want to write books and plant seeds.
I want to be a philanthropist.
Well, Bless God, I am walking in my calling, I have retired from teaching, I have no husband yet, he is with the Lord, but I am closer to my family and my family is still increasing in number and blessings.
I have written 2 books and I have planted seed in many vineyards. Praise the Lord for the bounty of His goodness.
On the next page I wrote: You always want what they say you cannot have. When others do what you always wanted to do, it gets on your nerves!!!! Why? BECAUSE YOU WERE CREATED TO DO WHAT THEY KINDA HALF DO!!!! DROP THE MIC.
The seed, environment and timing must be right. In the Book of 1 Samuel chapter 1 there were two women; Hannah and Penninah. They were married to a godly man, Elkanah. Penninnah, was very fertile and was able to give Elkanah children, however, the Lord had shut up Hannah's womb.
Penninnah took great pleasure provoking Hannah. Sometimes God will use others to provoke you. The Lord shut up the mouth of Zachariah, Elizabeth's husband, because he did not believe the report of the angel. When God makes a promise, or makes us wait on our request, we must believe his word. Because what He is doing is trying to get us to CREATE A THIRST FOR THE THING THAT WE HAVE ASKED HIM FOR!!!! ARE YOU THIRSTY?
Peninnah Blew up because she was pregnant, but Hannah Blew up because she was THIRSTY!!!!
Hannah's husband said to her, "I have favored you." he was telling her, I love you more than that other one.!!! Listen, Favor and Purpose are in a fight. Favor doesn't =purpose. Hannah did wipe her face. She did seize the day. She did have a child. She did remember her vow to the Lord. Even when you did wrong, God kept blessing you. That is why you still have to give him the praise. Stop making 't excuses for why you cant do this or that.
Find the core of you purpose and pain and you will find your purpose. When the door is open there is no pressure. When the door is closed and there are restrictions, you will do what you have to do!!!! Because you always want what you can't have!!!
Be passionate about your purpose. I am too old to let you worry me, looking at me funny; too old to let you shut me down. I'm gonna get to my purpose.
Lord help me to deal with my Ismael's. Help me to put these things that are distractions in their proper place. In Jesus Name, Amen.
The journal entry stops here.
This is my take on it, today February 7, 2017
When Hannah went to the temple to pray, she was besides herself. She began to pray in the spirit. Her lips were moving but nothing was coming out. The priest, Eli was there and thought she was making a mockery in the temple by coming there drunk. But when the spirit of the Lord comes mightily upon you, when you don't care what you look like or what you sound like, when you are desperate you don't give two plug nickels who is looking at you; you will look like a fool and give the Lord some undignified praise and prayers.
The MOG, saw this mess or a chick and asked her what was wrong. She poured her heart out to Eli, and he told her wipe your face and go home, you prayers have been answered. Next year you will bear a son. Hallelujah!!!!
Who is provoking or what is provoking you? How long will you have this headache? How long will you have this sore throat? Lo, l(soul detox) How long will you allow the negative self-talk, deception infection, to stay inside of you eating away at your soul? Come out out of my soul devil in Jesus Name!!! Be thou made whole!! Walk into you destiny!!!